Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Be My Baby (The Ronettes)

Today I take time to answer the 36 questions that according to social psychologist Arthur Aron, can make two individuals fall in love. Aron insists that if a heterosexual man and woman enter a room, sit across from one another and answer the questions, then maintain eye contact for four minutes, they will fall in love. An undeniably interesting claim at the very least, and since this gentleman went to the trouble of declaring such a bold thing, the least I can do is attempt to test his theory. For now I will answer the questions, until such a time comes when I want to pull this trick out in order to force someone to fall in love with me. Could come in handy, especially if I come across Jared Padalecki or Logan Lerman. ;)

 1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Probably Seth Meyers. Or Aziz Ansari. Or Melissa McCarthy... They always make me laugh, and they seem to have comfortable personalities - they wouldn't be awkward like George Washington or Bo Burnham.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
I wouldn't mind being famous for writing a book, but nothing more conspicuous. Fame seems to bring out the worst in people and I wouldn't want anyone going through my life with a fine tooth comb.

3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
Yes. I am deathly afraid of phone calls with people I don't know very well. It seems like having a plan of action will help with my nerves, but really all it does is serve as a pep talk so I'm actually capable of making the call. Once I'm on the phone I usually end up ad-libbing anyway which, by the way, I'm almost always brilliant at paradoxically. 

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Any sunny day where I get to try something new, learn, and eat good food. This could be going to the beach, a day shopping at my favorite stores, visiting a new country, learning to surf, ziplining, bungee jumping, snowboarding, hiking, camping. A million different circumstances could make up my best day, the most important things are that I have good food (probably pizza, Chinese, or Mexican) and good company. Because a good friend makes all the difference: if you do something alone it won't be one tenth as fun. 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I last sang to myself when I drove to work about an hour ago. I last sang to someone else about twenty minutes ago when I sang to the baby I'm sitting for. 

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
The body. It seems like the elderly have good memories until their bodies start to degrade. I believe if my body weren't degrading at the rate of a 90 year old then my mind would probably stay mainly intact. 

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
No idea. I hope it isn't uncomfortable. Natural causes I imagine, my family tends to stay on the healthy side if they aren't affected by extenuating circumstances. 

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Skipping

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
My family/friends.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Maybe nothing. All the experiences have added up to who I am now, and I like who I am now. If anything I might have added more travel or gotten more involved - but I have always already been pretty involved.
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Tricky. I was born in January 1995. My dad was a teenaged jerk, and my mom was a little bit crazy. When I was three my mom married the man who was to become the real father figure in my life. Growing up I can remember moving a lot. My biological dad would pop into the picture now and then for visits and gifts, but nothing too often. I read books constantly and was always involved in some club. Girl scouts, soccer, baseball, swimming, art class, book clubs, the list goes on. I remember living in a little neighborhood in Marysville with lots of neighbor kids. There was a little town in Utah I lived in and my best friend's name was Jordan Puttnam. I got a mountain bike that year for my birthday, and my parents made me a Powerpuff Girl cake by hand. We only stayed in Utah one year and then moved again to Alaska. In Alaska I was in a church group and volunteered at the library constantly. I spent my spare time memorizing bible verses and reading my way through popular books like Harry Potter. I befriended two snobby girls, Bethany and Tiffany. My parents continued to have children. At this point there were six of us, myself the oldest then Lexie, Katie, Abbie, Bradley, and Sam. At the beginning of high school we went for a visit to California and ended up staying for the next five years. My cousin Rachel and I went to rock concerts and Sunsplash, and had a thousand sleepovers. While in California another child joined our family, Lily. In high school I was popular. A lot of guys had crushes on me but I dated only one through high school who was my best friend. In the end it didn't work out, we didn't even stay friends because at the beginning of my first year of college we moved back to Alaska. I realized who my real friends were and have grown up more in the past year than I even thought possible. I became a full time nanny and a full time student. It was hard but I got through, and I have met a lot of interesting people nannying. Today I'm going to college for business, and I'm nannying, coaching a Lego club and living part time at the gym. My goals today are to see the world and try everything that I can. 
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

The ability to put people at ease while they are speaking with me. I want people to feel comfortable and valuable when speaking to me. 
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I would want to know who I end up marrying. I think that would be good for a smile. My interests in knowing the future are limited, and I know myself pretty well already.
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

I suppose I would like to snowboard. The main thing keeping me back is the lack of snow in Alaska. ;) 
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

The greatest accomplishment of my life is my education thus far.


16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Honesty... Loyalty. The ability to laugh over the crazy things in life and overlook the scary things in the world to see the beautiful. 
17. What is your most treasured memory?

I don't have a favorite. I've done a lot of great things. I have a lot of great memories camping in the Redwoods. It's truly beautiful out there. As much as I love a good shopping trip or a ride at Disneyland, I think camping has been one of my favorite adventures. It's relaxed,  it's funny, and you always bond with the people you are with in a new way. Being put in nature is an amazing feeling. Fresh and free. I feel like I could do whatever I want in that moment. I could start walking and just not stop. It's empowering. But it's also awing. You look up at those massive redwood tress that have been there longer than your grandparents, and you breathe the clear, fresh air, and suddenly your soul is free. A part of nature. You can feel the life and ages old power rustling through you. The world is only a planet full of living things, and you are just one of billions of other living organisms coexisting. In nature I feel small and large at the same time. 
18. What is your most terrible memory?

My worst memory is of my parents fighting, actually. Nothing extreme happened. In fact the only reason I remember so clearly is because it is my first memory, and it was both of my biological parents. The only real reason I list it as my worst is because it is the only bad memory I have really bothered to remember. 
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

 Absolutely. I'd probably sell most everything I have and take trips of all kinds. A cruise along the Mediterranean, a road trip across the US, surfing lessons in Hawaii, snorkeling in Aruba, boarding in Reno and Tahoe, backpacking through Europe. I would be less concerned about the future and more about the here and now. The main reason I'm not living that way is that I want somewhat of a secure future, but now that I'm thinking about it I should take a gap year sometime and live life carelessly. ;)
20. What does friendship mean to you?

To me a true friendship is something endlessly valuable. A friend isn't someone who is just like you; it isn't even necessarily a person who likes the same things as you. It's someone who would listen to you talk about silly inconsequential things for hours on end. It's someone who wants to be with you to do absolutely nothing - just to be there. It's when something crazy happens to you and the first thing you want to do is call that person and say "Oh my gosh, guess what just happened?!" It's that person you would stand up for in a second, or that when a nasty rumor is going around about you, you don't even have to ask if they believe it. You know they don't. Friendship is about outlasting the hard stages of life, remaining through the awkward situations, persevering through the hardships with grace. It's about remaining a constant source of support. It's about countless tasteless jokes that no one else thinks are funny. It's about those wordless conversations when other people are in the room and neither of you has to say a word. Friendship is a level of comfort with someone else that puts you at ease and makes you feel like you neither have to perform nor conform to norms. 
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Complicated ones. I care sincerely about the friends, connections, and even employers that I have. Romantically I suppose I'm a bit more guarded. I try to be friendly and generous with my feelings, but I have a difficult time finding genuine, goodhearted people. Ultimately I suppose I'm fairly open about love, but only from healthy, reliable and sincere sources. I don't expend a lot of energy on individuals that seem flaky or unhealthy for me. I am open to love but not seeking it. Maybe I'm picky. ;) When someone comes along who's worth my time, I'll reciprocate interest. 
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Skip
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

I've never truly wanted for love. My family is vast and if there is anything they give out freely it's love. They've always been affectionate, and if I need any of them they are there for me. I would say that my childhood was very happy. My parents always took time to nurture me, and my siblings and I have always been very close. I was even homeschooled when I showed an interest in school at an early age. I never dealt with bullies, I never felt that I was inferior to other children, and in fact I was a comfortable leader from a young age. If I showed an interest in something, my family supported it. Likewise I have always felt good helping them to reach their own goals. My family has always stood as a strong and friendly unit. As I have grown more and had the chance to find out what other families are like, I have grown to love the things about my family I've come to recognize as unique. 
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

My relationship with my mother is strong and also funny. My mother and I are close. We tell each other most things. If something great or horrid happens to me I almost always call her right away. We are very different personalities so I'll bite my tongue when she talks about zodiacs and she'll do the same for me when I'm obscenely insensitive. If I drive her into town we'll probably get into a fight over my driving or my vehicular music habits, but no matter how bad a disagreement we have, we'll get into the same car the next day cracking jokes and talking about life. 
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”

Skip. 
26. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

Laughter. Loyalty. Love. Life. Family. Adventure.



27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.


That honesty is important to me. An honest friend is pretty high on my list of valuable things. If you're honest with me, I'll be honest with you. If you're dishonest I won't be very comfortable being your friend. I can be loud and obnoxious, and other times quiet and reserved. A friend of mine should probably be willing to tolerate my affinity for knowledge, music, and adventure. Most importantly a friend should know that while even I admit I can be odd (everyone is) I would do anything for a loyal friend. When I'm good friends with a person I'm a good listener when they need me, a good partier when they need celebrating, a good silencer when they need comfortable quiet, a good comforter when they're distressed... I'm basically the full package friend!


28. Tell your partner what you like about them: Be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

Skip.


29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Oddly enough I can't remember any significantly embarrassing moments...

My first winter in Alaska I was driving into town on the newly icy roads when the guy in the truck in front of me slammed on his brakes. To be fair it was a dangerous day to be driving and several people in our little town had already ditched themselves that day, but when I tried to brake I found myself sliding across the ice. I could feel the antibrake as my car skidded without heed on a nice patch of ice, only to rear end the truck in front of me in an undoubtedly hard hit, not quite hard enough to engage the airbags. If you've ever been in even the mildest of accidents you understand how the adrenaline rushes in immediately. My blood was pumping thunderously through my veins, my thoughts were not forming coherently, and I barely seemed to have the strength in my legs (which seemed to have turned to jelly) to maneuver myself onto the side of the road. It was with a sinking feeling of dread that I watched the door to the truck open and followed suit. I'm not sure if I resolved to play the poor clueless and shaken young girl card or if it just came naturally, but I must say I was pretty brilliant at it. I was caught off guard only a moment when I realized that the person I had hit was a young and shockingly attractive man. He was wearing carhartt pants, a button up flannel and a beanie. Even though he had a bit of a beard, somehow he pulled it off and you immediately got the feeling he was a nice guy. The kind of guy that was probably married despite his age. All of this only served to make me feel about a hundred times worse about hitting him (Am I a bad person, or what?). The first words out of my mouth were an unsteady "I AM SOSORRY." To which he replied calmly "Is everyone okay?" I glanced back at my sister Kate in the passenger seat and gushed some more, "We're fine. Are you okay?" "I'm fine..." "I am SO sorry..." "I'm fine, is your car okay?" I looked at my car, still unable to get a full handle on my brain or mouth. "I think so. Oh gosh, what's that?" There was a round cylinder on the ground. "Oh that's mine," he said calmly, picking it up and deftly reattaching it somewhere on his truck. "See? No problem." I continued to stare in horror at the two cars before getting down on my knees and checking beneath our cars where I found a large piece of silver plastic, "What's THIS?" I asked with continued lack of thought and equal amounts of panic. "Oh that's from your car, see?" He pointed at the front of my car and I realized I was holding the neatly detached bottom half of my car's front grille. "Oh..." "Hey, are you sure you guys are okay?" he inquired. "Yes! Yes, we're okay." In the end we both got into our cars and obtained minimal damage, but that was admittedly embarrassing...

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

I'm not sure... I don't cry too much. I think I cried last over a scene in a TV series when some foster kids were reunited with a loving foster mother. 
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

Skip. 
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

There aren't many things, actually. I don't mind joking about most things but probably the one thing I don't think isn't a laughing matter at all are people who are unhealthy or uncomfortable enough with the world or themselves to create unhealthy habits... Habits that harm them mentally, physically, or emotionally.


33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

There is nothing I haven't said that I would regret not saying. I've told my family and friends that I love them, I've made up with most of the people I ever fought with, and I can't think of a single person who wouldn't know how I felt about them if I died tonight.


34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

Oh gosh I don't know, my phone? Laptop? a few extra layers of clothing? I pretty much have my phone with me anyway at all times. My car keys wouldn't be a concern. Probably the laptop, assuming I was already wearing enough clothing. 
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

That... Is probably the most disturbing question I have ever been asked... I don't rank my family members. I couldn't tell you.


36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

My biggest problem right now is that I really want to buy a white husky puppy and name it Zuess, and train it intensely until I pretty much have a large, beautiful, protective, friendly dog... But I keep spending my money on random things (like my collection of snowboarding equipment that has seen zero use since it has hardly snowed in Alaska this year... Okay that's a problem too. ;)). I imagine you would respond by saying I should budget my money and purchase the dang dog... Which sounds like a good plan.





And that is the end of the 36 questions... I never thought I would make it to the end! There is some weirdly personal information in here! I feel like I know myself better after undergoing such a rigorous questioning. And remember, according Dr. Aron you're all halfway to falling in love with me now. So, either a massively self destructive move on my part or a brilliant ploy to drastically increase my blog popularity. I'll leave those of you who actually made it through this post to ponder that on your own. Until next time: Later dudes. 

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